I feel like everything I’m doing now
I was born to do
when I write
something happens inside
like a spiritual birth
and I walk away renewed
when I dance
I feel like I’m moving in heaven
free of thought
free of life
free to be me
when I work with women
I feel like every trauma I’ve been through
is their hope
because I’m on the other side
I’m grateful for all that I’ve been through
as a mother
I’m rewarded every moment
of every day
thoughts of my kids and grand baby
fill my heart
when I work with silk
I really feel like I know what I’m doing
even as I learn
like it was meant for me to do
and meant for me to create
when I speak
I feel like people listen
like really listen
and when they walk away
they’ve held on to what they needed
when I laugh
into everyone around me
and when I cry
I think the same thing happens
I feel like I was born to do
everything I’m doing now
need space to create
space can be
without this space
there’s no room
there’s no time
there’s no place
there’s no support
which sometimes suffocates
What are some voices of depression?
“Don’t take a shower!”
“Nobody cares about you!”
“It’s never going to work!”
“You can’t do it!”
And most of the time, when I hear people open up about having depression, they “own” it, as if it was a part of them: MY depression this; MY depression that. To me, it’s darkness taking over; it’s becoming intertwined with who you are, but that’s all an illusion.
I’m not speaking from speculation.
I’m speaking from experience.
When I order my silk, there are some parts where there’s a little black thread, which I’m sure was used to mark the yardage. Anyway, when you have white silk with a black string of thread, it’s pretty noticeable, and as long as I leave it there, it stays, but when I pull the end of the thread, it comes out.
Depression is like that black thread. Maybe all it takes is someone pulling it out. Just like that black thread wasn’t part of the white silk, depression isn’t part of who you are.
If you can’t find the thread, find someone who can help you.
I’m telling you: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE WITH DEPRESSION!
It’s never about fighting the lies; it’s simply about believing the truth.
Poetry Night at The Prelude was really good last night, except I forgot to ask someone to record it, but it went well.
I read some poems that explained who I used to be and how Jesus changed my life. I was asked, for next time, if I’d bring my flags and dance a song. Only God knows what that meant to me, especially now.
Very recently (on Wednesday), I questioned in my heart if I should even use them in public anymore (because of someone’s reaction to them). What that person did and said felt like it crushed me, so wouldn’t that just be God’s timing?!
Right after I felt crushed by one, I was lifted by another.
To me, it’s more than a dance. It’s more like a passion!
Next month, when I dance a song, I’ll see if someone will record it. (Sometimes, that’s hard to find.)
“My Dance With Jesus” (click photo)
does anyone remember
the last day of the year
paralyzed in my bed
without will to move
a day of Sea World planned
yet laying in tears? Continue reading
I’m now selling Infinity Scarves!
- Made to order
- Ice dyed
- Prayed over
- One of a kind
Yesterday morning, I went to a business workshop that changed the rest of my life. When I started talking about starting a business, quite a few people suggested looking into starting a non profit, and because so many people had that idea, I sought it out to see if it was from God.
In searching His heart for my life, I realized I was to start a business. On the night I decided that, He told me, “Write out your vision, and then, I’ll give you Mine.” I never did my part: writing it out, but yesterday, I believe He did His part. Continue reading
I wonder if God waits for us to make the time for Him to fully move through us, to play with our imagination, to make His reality of heaven come to life here on earth. On the second day of my new job, I designed a new flag, and it’s absolutely gorgeous! And wouldn’t you know it: I argued with God about it. Continue reading