[written at 6:39pm on 1/24/17]
I know who I am
how am I to let you in
when I want out?
who I appear to be
rages around me
but deep down
below the storm
I am anchored
but there is a way
to quiet the storm
and let my Light
while I’m anchored
when I look inside my heart
I see meadows
tall grass blowing in the breeze
clouds moving softly
to the motion of the angels
mountains in the distant
yet close enough to reach Continue reading
Dreams: most of them good; some of them bad
Visions: not everyone has them; not everyone believes in them
Even as I start to write, it feels odd because it’s about someone else, whom I haven’t asked permission from to write about, so I’ll leave the name out and make the gender general. I’m not too familiar with the timeline, but that’s not the “meat” of what this is about. As you read, you’ll find out what I mean. Continue reading
Okay, this isN’T a cry for a husband.
As I’m making flags, I thought about my wedding. Some things will be very different. Continue reading
Yesterday, as I was making flags, God was speaking to me about the silk of the thread being woven into the material around the weight, and He was relating it with Christ to the church and the husband in the home. I’m not even sure how this will all flow because it doesn’t feel very complete in my head, but God’s telling me to write about it, so we’ll see what happens. Continue reading
In everyone’s life, the color of love has a different hue, a different shade, a different look that capture’s the eye, a heart, a smile. God is constantly painting the picture of my life, and love takes on a different color all the time, but let me share with you what it looks like now. Continue reading
Yesterday, as I was walking to Balboa Park on my lunch break, I was talking to God and asking the Holy Spirit where to go, where to sit, where to walk, and then, I listened and followed His lead, and wouldn’t you know it…amazing things happened.
The first area I sat in was at a distance from my usual spot. Where I was sitting, no one was walking near, but I could see people walking along the street…so many people. My heart’s desire was to sit down with every single one of them, but there was only one “me” and a whole lot of people. I began to soak in the Son by reading my bible, exploring trees in the Scriptures, praying throughout; when, all of a sudden, I “knew” it was time to move, and where to move was across the way. Continue reading
In 2009, I actually started to “read” my bible and fell in love with God, but I was in this uncomfortable state of wanting to live for him and sleeping around. The two just do not go hand in hand, so I would ask for prayer to stop having sex, and it finally worked.
On July 21, 2009, I made a decision in my heart to devote my body to God and informed the men I had been sleeping with. When I focused on God, He was pouring into me like crazy. A funny analogy to go with that was revealed to me right away. When I was a little girl, I was on the swim team. To gain the fastest head-start, it was best to have a clean dive from the get-go. My legs would always open, there would be a splash, which would slow down my momentum. They would constantly say to me, “When you dive in, close your legs.” That was SO true then and applied to my life in 2009. When I closed my legs, I was able to dive into His Word at full speed.
Last night, I felt led to look in my journal for a particular entry to share, and when I realized the date, I was reminded of the above analogy. Isn’t it crazy what time spent with God will do! Five years ago, these would not have been the desires of my heart, but because I’m fully yielded to Him, my desires line up with the calling He has on my life.
***Journal Entry on July 21, 2014 at 11:16 am***
The desires of my heart:
To make worship flags
To dance with them
To play the violin
To write a book
To reach more people
To love my kids well
To have a husband
To write psalms