Now, it’s a mastectomy…

Well, last Wednesday, I was in the hospital, waiting for the lumpectomy surgery, but when the surgeon came in, he had different news for me.

He told me radiology discovered other areas in my right breast that raised concerns. He said, if these areas were cancerous, he would need to do the mastectomy.

Before leaving the room, he asked me to consider which option I wanted: a mastectomy and be flat; a mastectomy and have an implant; a mastectomy and have muscle/fat transferred from another area of my body. Then, he left.

That same day, I had a stereotactic biopsy done. On Monday, those results came back cancerous. Now, I wait to see the surgeon on Monday.

More waiting. My favorite.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at. So, it’s hard for me to be honest about this part, but since hardly anyone visits this site, I’ll be honest here.

I have the most sensitive nipples. They’ve brought me much enjoyment through my life, and my right one is the most sensitive. To lose this sensitivity seems an added sadness right now.

To carry on through life without that enjoyment seems devastating to me. I used to be a sex addict. Or at least, I was addicted to finding my worth through sex. I’m not that way now, but sex is definitely important to me, which brings me to another thing.

There’s a part of me that wants to have sex right now before my body changes, but I don’t have anyone in my life to do that with. It may sound silly, but the other day, it was a very heavy thought.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at with all of this. And, with everything going on in my right breast, it makes me wonder about my left one. Is it possibly to only have it in one? I guess we’ll find out.



Dream Working

I want to share with you the story behind making these flags.image

Over the weekend, I received a rush order on Etsy. A young lady wanted a set of flags to dance with on stage at her church and wanted them shipped quickly, so she could practice.

They were a smaller set, so I had the material and said I’d have them done, and then, I waited. I’m learning that a lot (if not all) of what I make is God’s timing.

My Monday was pretty busy, so I hadn’t even thought about the flags because I didn’t want to force or rush anything. Then, on Monday night, I had a dream.

In my dream, I was making these flags. I woke up knowing how to tie them, how to fold them, how and when to add the colors as I folded, etc, so when I woke up Tuesday morning, I was ready to go, but Katie was asleep in the living room, so I had to wait.

When I knew she’d awoken, I jumped up to begin.

The only color I was given in the order was a navy blue WITHOUT purple. Some of you know the challenge I’ve had in having a dark blue show up without purple, so I wasn’t too excited about that color.

When I first mixed some navy blue…purple, so I added something else…darker purple, but then, when I added my mixture to blue, a beautiful dark blue showed up. Now, it was time to choose some other colors.

I only came up with one, mixed the other shade of blue, and began on the flags.

When I say these can never be recreated, I mean it! I “know” everything’s possible with God, but I don’t think HE means for any of these to be recreated, so I try not to stress about it. Anyway, they turned out GORGEOUS!

Now…to see if the customer liked them.

On Etsy, I sent a picture and waited (for hours). Her reply made me cry!

They are amazing if I could have given you the picture I had in my head that was it!!! Ah I’m so excited thank you so much I could just cry”

Isn’t that AMAZING!!! Anyway, I really wanted to share this one with you all!