Well, last Wednesday, I was in the hospital, waiting for the lumpectomy surgery, but when the surgeon came in, he had different news for me.

He told me radiology discovered other areas in my right breast that raised concerns. He said, if these areas were cancerous, he would need to do the mastectomy.

Before leaving the room, he asked me to consider which option I wanted: a mastectomy and be flat; a mastectomy and have an implant; a mastectomy and have muscle/fat transferred from another area of my body. Then, he left.

That same day, I had a stereotactic biopsy done. On Monday, those results came back cancerous. Now, I wait to see the surgeon on Monday.

More waiting. My favorite.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at. So, it’s hard for me to be honest about this part, but since hardly anyone visits this site, I’ll be honest here.

I have the most sensitive nipples. They’ve brought me much enjoyment through my life, and my right one is the most sensitive. To lose this sensitivity seems an added sadness right now.

To carry on through life without that enjoyment seems devastating to me. I used to be a sex addict. Or at least, I was addicted to finding my worth through sex. I’m not that way now, but sex is definitely important to me, which brings me to another thing.

There’s a part of me that wants to have sex right now before my body changes, but I don’t have anyone in my life to do that with. It may sound silly, but the other day, it was a very heavy thought.

Anyway, that’s where I’m at with all of this. And, with everything going on in my right breast, it makes me wonder about my left one. Is it possibly to only have it in one? I guess we’ll find out.