in the silence
she writes
to become what she is
no mirrors
no windows
just reflection
there’s the past she’s forgotten
and a past that she makes
only one worth remembering
every word
every tear
every breath
released in a song
moved by a poem
expressed with a word
in the stillness
she thinks
where she was and is
sometimes the memories
whether bad or good
help navigate the way
so she thinks
so she writes
and she sings what will be
Why is common sense so uncommon?
When amazing situations turn out bad, I’m not sure how faith passes on because to get where I am took amazing faith, but if I told you (honestly) where I’m at, no one would follow, and I wouldn’t encourage you to.
That saddens me.
What’s the point of exercising extreme faith if, after I land, I advice everyone to back away from the cliff.
Faith is where your blindfolded, standing on the edge, and jump, expecting to be taught how to fly, but when you fall, your aches and pains tend to be warnings for others, so they don’t do the same thing.
Extinguishing faith.
Right now, in my life, I’d encourage moms to stay single and remain being one-hundred-percent there for their kids. I’d tell you not to marry your ex because it involves too much pain. I’d tell you not to move with your kids because the loss for them is too great and becoming a stranger is too painful. And I’d never encourage someone to become unequally yoked.
In other words, everything I’ve done, feeling moved by God in faith, I’d tell others NOT to do, so I’m not sure I find the good in that.
The problem with marrying someone from your past is that that someone “knows” your past, sometimes better than you do. Anyway, last night was a rough night.
It started out well because Scott and I practiced talking and did so for about two hours. If the word “practice” throws you off, it’s because for the last six months, we’ve, probably, barely talked two hours TOTAL, which makes for a very long six months, especially when you count the days, but we seem to be on the healing side of it.
After our talk, we went to the store to pick up a couple things for the girls. They were at The Prelude, so we wanted to be back before they got home. On the way, our talking continued but didn’t go so well. Continue reading
Poetry Night at The Prelude was really good last night, except I forgot to ask someone to record it, but it went well.
I read some poems that explained who I used to be and how Jesus changed my life. I was asked, for next time, if I’d bring my flags and dance a song. Only God knows what that meant to me, especially now.
Very recently (on Wednesday), I questioned in my heart if I should even use them in public anymore (because of someone’s reaction to them). What that person did and said felt like it crushed me, so wouldn’t that just be God’s timing?!
Right after I felt crushed by one, I was lifted by another.
To me, it’s more than a dance. It’s more like a passion!
Next month, when I dance a song, I’ll see if someone will record it. (Sometimes, that’s hard to find.)
“My Dance With Jesus” (click photo)
before I left for Texas
so many friends in church said
“I’m so happy for you, Laura!
You deserve this.”
really? I deserve this?
does that mean God
is a punishing God?
or does that mean we all
have decisions to make
to learn
to grow
to become
along the way
after twenty-two years
I’ve changed
but Scott hasn’t
at all
and if I’d never married him
if I’d never moved out here
he never would’ve known
it takes courage to change
and it takes courage to stay
just not sure how strong I am
Every love story has an ending.
The quietest road is the one that leads to marriage counseling.
I picture my heart
Different strings holding on
To what’s important
Some are chords
Songs coming out
Some are rope
Strong as can be
Some are thread
Wearing in the middle
Until snap
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 