One of the things we look forward to as a family at Christmas time is buying our tree because more goes into it than just money.
When we get our Christmas tree, we spend an hour at the lot, so the kids can play tag throughout the trees. They do it every year. The funny part is, this year, we had to go twice! Continue reading
The other night, I had a booth at the Rock. As much as I just wanted to “be” there for others, I was still short on rent and needed to sell some flags.
Right off the bat, a young woman stopped by the booth, entranced by the beauty of the flags. As I told her about them and about my testimony, she filled with joy!
She said, “No way! I’ve never heard anyone be so open like that. I used to be trafficked. No one’s ever said that! I’m just blown away right now! That just made my day! Thank you!” And I believe THAT is why I was supposed to be there, but still, I had hours left and flags to sell, so I was ready for the night (or so I thought). Continue reading
the inner course
of sex
has its way
of taking a chance
with conception
it doesn’t wait to see
if the couple is in love
it doesn’t wait to see
if they’re married
it doesn’t wait to see
what their dreams are
no
this chance takes
a risk
without asking
maybe leaving one
with a choice
to keep it
or not
there’s an easy way out
thinking of self
and no one else
but it’s the harder way
a decision to bring forth life
or cause death
a chance to promote destiny
or distinguish it
a wait in the mind
a weight in the heart
who will win
Something’s happened
That triggered a memory
One of life and death
I remember my first abortion
The decision
The reaction
Being supported yet not
I remember the “assumed” father
Being too cheap
For me to go under
Leaving me there alone
Being awake
Hearing the vacuum
Feeling the pain
Being a number minus one
I remember being let go
Sitting on the curb
Waiting for a ride
Alone
Why was I in darkness
WHERE WERE YOU GOD!
Where was I
What made me remember
Oh yeah
There’s more to come
I’m in this place
with no windows
tears filling the room
like rain
having friends
yet no one to talk to
having vision
yet not all the rent
how could I ask anyone
to understand
when I myself
don’t understand
every tear
leading to a thought
every thought
leading to a tear
feeling like a failure
again
feeling unattractive
again
feeling
again
without
a friend
to listen
finding myself
alone
with the only One
Who cares
the only One
Who listens
the only One
Who never judges
another day
where hiding seems to be
the only option
The only problem with living out loud is anyone can hear you: some listen; some judge; but most look the other way.
When I write, I feel. I write “because” I feel, and right now, I’m not feeling so hot, and I know, for me, how God comforts me as I write, so I’m going to lay it all out.
If you don’t want to read about tears, I suggest you move on because as they run down my face, I’ll explain my heart. Continue reading
I hate it when
dreams seem real
and they’re good
then I wake to reality
and they’re gone
I can’t explain the tears
and won’t stop them
when will that dream come true?
never
a different version will be real
someday
but for now
that dream was a nightmare
I love it how the past
doesn’t really matter
the only power it has
is what I give it
the past is a weapon
mixed with Jesus
to defeat darkness
not hurl me into it
some things I remember
the kids don’t
some things they remember
I don’t
God has a way of restoring all
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 