For some reason, I’ve been wanting to write about the day my mom passed away (April 25th), so here it goes.
That Wednesday morning, I was called into work early, which was a Godsend.
During my shift, I taught a class, and at the end of the class, I read the poem I’d written a few days before. Afterward, I cried, and fifteen minutes later, my mom ended up dying, yet I didn’t know about it then.
A couple hours later, I received the call from my aunt. All I remember was her saying my mom had died a couple hours earlier. Instantly, I felt my heart drain and began to cry.
As I got off the phone, I wondered if I could handle completing my shift, but as I walked into the office to tell my boss, I KNEW I had to leave. ALL I wanted to do was go home and cry.
Right away, all the girls around me knew what had happened, and as I made my way to the door to leave, everyone lined up to hug me, even the maids, and every hug I received was one I needed so deeply. At times, I felt myself falling deeper into their arms.
One girl walked me out, and as we hugged again, she asked, “Are you okay to drive?” I told her, “Yeah, I’ll stop and get a soda.” We both laughed, but then, as I cried even harder, I leaned against the post and asked God to help me.
A mile down the road, I stopped for that soda and wanted something cherry, but wouldn’t you know it, they didn’t have anything cherry, so I cried a little harder and left.
I sent Carolyn a text, asking if I could pull her out of school. She said yes, so all I had between us was an hour drive. (sigh)
On the way, I was never alone. Of course, God was with me, but also, I stayed on the phone with someone, almost the whole way.
When I picked up Carolyn, immediately, she had me laughing. At times, the laughter turned into tears or the tears turned into laughter. She was so confused: she didn’t know if I was laughing or crying! We headed to Panda Express to order our takeout.
At home, we watched Netflix and ate (and I cried). It was perfect, but later in the night, I told her how I REALLY wanted something cherry, so we went to the store.
As we walked passed the liquor aisle, I said, “We’re so lucky I don’t drink anymore!” I can’t imagine what it would’ve been like if I did.
Anyway, at the end of the night, when exhaustion set in and the tears stopped flowing, we went to sleep.
I’m sure we all walk through grief differently. This was just a look into mine.