marriage

“The Unmentionable”

| Laura Lee Bonde

it’s a terrible thing
to be in a marriage
and feel alone

how could invisible walls
be so concrete
how could silence
last so long

when one budges
the other moves away
and when the other budges
the one moves away

is there a solution worth hearing
is there advice worth listening to

do the days
turn into years
do the moments
become a lifetime

every time I stretch to jump
the hurdle gets higher
every time I give up
the water rises

and as each of my kids
jump onto a boat
I’m left behind
sinking

“Roadblocks”

| Laura Lee Bonde

in marriage (and relationships)

if you’re on a different page
communication’s muddled

if you’re in a different chapter
you’ll feel miles apart

if you’re in a different book
well that’s another story

Cold Front

| Laura Lee Bonde

Lately, I’ve experienced a lot of change, but the other night, someone else did, and it wasn’t good.

Since Scott’s picked us up from San Diego and brought us to Texas, there’s been barely any laughter, mainly because he’s been a totally different person than the man I married (and not in a good way). The oppression was intense, but I, finally, made it through it with the help of God, my AA friends, and laughter. Continue reading →

“Different Places”

| Laura Lee Bonde

there’s a difference between

wanting to die
and
not wanting to live

I know
because I was there yesterday

oh how I want to write about it
but there’s an element of hiding
that can’t be seen

it’s not that I’m isolating
FROM any one
it’s that I’m isolating TO
the only One Who can help

but this process NEEDS
to be written
it just may need to be
the old-fashioned way

“The Waking Hour”

| Laura Lee Bonde

as I write
I feel
and as I feel
I write

not believing
what I feel
and not feeling
what I believe

even now
crying
not knowing where I am
not knowing where I’m going

I know there’s more
a deeper freedom residing
where I can be “me”
no matter who I’m around

that was the thing
to bring people joy
to change the atmosphere
and dream

but when every dream
becomes a nightmare
and every sleep
brings a disturbing dream

the problem lies in waking
not in sleeping

but there’s this Truth I know
woven into my heart
of being One with Him
and having hope

misery CAN’T be His plan
so I’ll fight where I stand
by letting Him lead
His way to goodness

“De-Mentions”

| Laura Lee Bonde

it’s funny
what I’d vowed to God
I’ve let slip away

how I’d wanted to be treated
what I’d wanted for my kids
where I’d wanted us to live

I thought I’d listened
through God’s heart
but as I live through my choices
I stop and wonder

if what I valued is not there
was my trust in another
if this IS God’s heart
will it get better?

mental instability
emotional insecurity
spiritul immaturity
are tough to ignore
but as one who is love
I HAVE to believe
there is hope

“A Fence of Another”

| Laura Lee Bonde

some know who I am
others perceive
in a moment of a poem
what they see

but do they know?

how one takes thoughts captive
may be different from another

for me
my thoughts taken captive
can be found in a poem
never entering my heart
only leaving my mind

but because of
a fence
I’ve held back
because of concern
I’ve turned away

then where’re those thoughts
kept captive
but inside

now I no longer think
of what others may say
and if they really want to know
they’ll ask

for now
I’m writing
with my heart’s consent
and before long
my spirit’ll break through

free from my surroundings
free from my soul
free from a state of mind
which is meant to be changed

but my heart stays the same
perfectly ONE with Him