there’s a difference between
wanting to die
and
not wanting to live
I know
because I was there yesterday
oh how I want to write about it
but there’s an element of hiding
that can’t be seen
it’s not that I’m isolating
FROM any one
it’s that I’m isolating TO
the only One Who can help
but this process NEEDS
to be written
it just may need to be
the old-fashioned way
When Lee was here on Wednesday evening, he asked if I’d trim his sideburns: a task I’m not very good at, but every time he asks, I do it for him. Well, this time, I went a step further. Continue reading
the one who kills themselves
are the only ones
who know when it’ll happen
they’re the only ones
who heard the plan from darkness Continue reading
December fourth, two thousand and sixteen…a day I’ll never forget.
It was a Friday, and I’d woken up from a bad dream. If I remember correctly, I woke up crying, and it turned out to be one of the most depressing mornings I’d had, and to top it all off, I felt a cold coming on.
You see, during that time, everything was so unsure: the business, my income, our groceries, etc., and the next day, I was scheduled to have a booth at the Rock and had some mixed emotions about THAT. Anyway, it was a tough morning, but I made it through by writing.
If you visit my website, you’ll find a calendar with daily writings. I believe the fourth was some of my darkest thoughts, but by the afternoon, I felt much better, and then, Katie came in.
She said, “Mom, I have something to tell you. I’m pregnant.” Continue reading
high school teenagers
fitting in
or falling out
becoming who they are
who they see
who they don’t see Continue reading
Yesterday, we walked the street near the trolley station in Lemon Grove and met some really neat people: men just hanging out; Jehovah’s Witnesses who really didn’t want to talk with us; the owner of a smoke shop; etc, but there are a couple moments I feel led to share with you in detail, so here we go. Continue reading
As many of you know, yesterday was Katie’s birthday, and I was broke, but I “knew” money wasn’t important in celebrating her, so I had no doubts we would all have fun together, and I had been looking forward to giving her a very special card.
Back in March, I had found this beautiful card with all these red tulips surrounding a beautiful white one. Tulips are my very favorite flower, so this card caught my eye, and having the white tulip amidst the red ones was the picture of me standing in the blood of Jesus, purified, redeemed, restored, so I bought the card to use for my own.
Shortly after, I was scheduled to dance at Beach Chapel for Easter. All my kids went, and I was so excited to dance with God in their presence (for the very first time). After the service, I was going to write about the awe of it all in my special tulip card to remember forever. Well, after the service, all of that changed. Continue reading
Bullying
when did it start
when will it end
insecurity
wanting power
selfishness
causing pain
to the soul
to the body
how many kids take it Continue reading
When faith is lost
and hope is gone
and no one comes around
what happens
Is that when people
fall into despair
seclude from others
and get lost in their mind
Is that when death
creeps in and
strangles the life
out of the heart
Is that when sadness
overwhelms every thought
and depression becomes
a weight that sinks the soul
Is that when tears
flood the inside
drowning the future
of becoming real
Is that when laughter
becomes buried
and smiles become
a thought never expressed
Never be afraid to be a friend
Never be afraid to give a smile
Never be afraid to say a prayer
It may restore hope
It may restore faith
It may restore life, a life worth living
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 