“Dear Santa”

yesterday
cleaning the garage
I came across two letters
from my girls

one asking for twenty five minutes
the other asking for fifty nine minutes
of a loving family

that moment
when you feel your heart break
and drip

I began to cry
THIS is why I’m so grateful
THIS is why I write

do you have any idea what HE’s done?
do you even know how HE’s changed my life?

my grateful tears
ran into regret
and the sobbing began

regret
always referred to as bad
but how can one not

searching deeper within
I looked up regret’s definition

as a verb
feel sad
repentant
disappointment

as a noun
feeling of sadness
repentance
disappointment

I regret the damage I’ve caused others
I regret certain things from the past
but it’s not a verb I practice
and it’s not a noun I live in

I breathe
stand
and live
in joy

grateful that I’m
forgiven

“Unmarked Territory”

I don’t know how many “lasts”
there are

will this be the “last”
super bowl with my kids
will it be the “last”
Valentine’s Day
will every special day
till May
be a “last”

things I don’t want to think about
but will
because it’s important
to treat every day as a “last”
and make the most of it
last

“Embracing Discovery”

about love

they said
‘you’ll know’
but I didn’t know
until I knew

for everyone
it’s different
for me
it was a hug
that embraced
my heart

how do you let go
of something so real

I questioned
I cried
I listened to God
and asked my love
to marry me

love is looking
into the eyes of your husband
across the way
wanting to climb over the table
to get to him
but you don’t
because you know
he’s not going anywhere

now I know
and can tell others
‘you’ll know’
and then watch them
not know
until they know