so
I just saw a video of me flagging
and don’t see what you see
[sigh]
I saw
fat arms
flat hair
myself
and didn’t see much beauty
[sigh]
still growing
still believing
wanting to see what you see
all the time
worship
You Are Beautiful
“You are beautiful:” those are the words I heard over and over again last night. As I was flagging at Straight Up Worship, Krissi came up and told me how beautiful I was. She just kept saying, “You are beautiful” and wasn’t quite sure why those were the only words she could say. I began to cry and told her, “Because those are the words I need to hear the most,” and God knew that, and even with all those words of beauty spoken over me, this morning, I saw myself as ugly.
Continue reading
Straight Up Praise
Last night, I grabbed some friends and went to “Straight Up Praise” at the Rock Church in Point Loma, and WOW, was it AMAZING!! I had never been there before and didn’t know what to expect, and the moment I walked in, I knew something was different. Continue reading
Guess “I” was Lost
Yesterday, when I went to the park, guess who was in his usual spot, sitting in his usual position, reading his usual book? Lee…as if nothing ever happened. We hugged, and I started to explain how I couldn’t find him the day before. He told me what happened. Continue reading
Live Worship, a Foot Rub, and Flag Football
After work, I headed to the field to watch my boys practice flag football with the team. It’s so good to be around them, to watch Kyle teach Nathan, and to watch Nathan continue to improve. I am always proud-mommy. Well, on the way there, my right foot cramped terribly. Let me explain.
Back in my dancing days, I wore heels ALL THE TIME. Every now and then, my toes curl up from the balls of my feet and remain stuck in that position (as if I’m wearing heels), and throughout this insane cramping, I experience intense pain. There have been times I’ve pulled over to the side of the road until in subsided. Now that I pray, it lessens a lot quicker. I always get irritated when it happens though…always.
Well, by the time I reached the field, it had went away but left a memory of when I was a stripper. Continue reading
Gumby
Have you ever heard the same word from heaven twice here on earth and KNEW it had meaning because ‘how could it be spoken over you twice’ came into play? That rarely happens to me, so when it does, it speaks deep into my soul, a place only God can touch.
On Friday night, a friend was speaking into my life words that have changed the way I think about the present, the future, the birdcage, the flight, and in that discussion, he referred to me as “Gumby.” My first thought Continue reading
“Hostage of Heaven”
A phone call
introduction
wanting to end it all
and then God speaks
through a familiar saying
life
A phone call
invitation
for a night of worship
but how to live drug free
for a night…unknown Continue reading
“Kingdom Kajon”
The sound
not a drum
but the beat
of a heart
as it listens
to the music
and plays
anointed
blessed
designed by God
through the hands
of His servant
Daniel Simonek
Learning to Dance
Last night, the beauty of JC’s Girls at the Rock was revealed again. Our ministry isn’t only there for those currently in the strip clubs. Our ministry reaches out to all women and men who need to know God loves them right where they’re at. But when you have a past similar to mine, fitting into a church family may be difficult.
I remember the simple act of stopping by 7-Eleven. The music would sound through the speaker, and my body would instantly move, while thoughts of sex would enter my mind. This was very normal to me. Continue reading
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 