When I was twelve, something happened, which involved losing my virginity (and my innocence) and which caused me to see the world through a distorted view. Well, last night, before I did this meditation, I wrote that twelve year old little girl a letter.

I wrote from the heart, from God’s heart, and let her know it wasn’t her fault and spoke to her worth. I explained how the pain wasn’t caused on purpose but how the pain had been confused with love.

I explained what love looks like and how much she deserved it.

This letter was the intent of this meditation: to heal that little twelve year old self in me, and that’s exactly what happened.

Now…for the vision…

I started at a path, it was dark, nighttime; there were tall trees, like in a forest. The stars were out and the air was cool.

As I walked down this path, I noticed I wasn’t scared at all but curious. What was once cool, damp dirt under my feet became leaves and twigs.

As I turned down the path, there was a wolf howling at the moon. It didn’t scare me but welcomed me. It wanted me to follow him.

As I followed him, he kept turning his head back, as if to make sure I was following. Then, I asked what he was doing there. He said, “To give you strength.”

I continued to follow him, and then, all of a sudden, we crossed over into daytime. It was as if both times of day were but a step away. Not only did the time of day change but the scenery also.

We were, now, walking through a meadow, and up ahead was Jesus, waiting for me. There was grass and flowers, and a slight breeze blowing. (For many years, this has been my special place with Jesus.)

He took me to Jesus, then stepped back. I danced with Jesus, and then, I danced for Him. I was naked and free. It was beautiful.

When I looked at the wolf, he was jumping around, as if dancing himself. Then, it was time to say goodbye.

As I was hugging Jesus, enfulfed in His arms, the wolf walked back to the darkness and turned to look at me, as if to say goodbye.

It was like I could hear him talk just by looking in his eyes.

He wanted me to know he stays in the darkness, in case I ever end up there, he’ll lead me back to the light.

I ended my vision by walking toward a cliff that overlooked the ocean. I breathed in the salty air, then laid down to sleep in the flowers. It was beautiful!

I made it through that darkness at twelve and made it through many others, as well, and know what this encounter means to me.