“The Waking Hour”

as I write
I feel
and as I feel
I write

not believing
what I feel
and not feeling
what I believe

even now
crying
not knowing where I am
not knowing where I’m going

I know there’s more
a deeper freedom residing
where I can be “me”
no matter who I’m around

that was the thing
to bring people joy
to change the atmosphere
and dream

but when every dream
becomes a nightmare
and every sleep
brings a disturbing dream

the problem lies in waking
not in sleeping

but there’s this Truth I know
woven into my heart
of being One with Him
and having hope

misery CAN’T be His plan
so I’ll fight where I stand
by letting Him lead
His way to goodness

“De-Mentions”

it’s funny
what I’d vowed to God
I’ve let slip away

how I’d wanted to be treated
what I’d wanted for my kids
where I’d wanted us to live

I thought I’d listened
through God’s heart
but as I live through my choices
I stop and wonder

if what I valued is not there
was my trust in another
if this IS God’s heart
will it get better?

mental instability
emotional insecurity
spiritul immaturity
are tough to ignore
but as one who is love
I HAVE to believe
there is hope

Answers

“When you seek and find God, all the short-cuts to “happiness” become superficial, shallow, and knowingly dissatisfying. You now embark on a journey of seeking & knowing this God that gives life, fullness, joy, and hope.”” – Jessica T.

“Change is Good”

when you become a Christian
things around you won’t be perfect
but the heart inside you will be
which makes everything around you
“different”

you become LIGHT
instead of lost in darkness

you become Love
instead of obsessed with lust

you become Peace
instead of connected to drama

you become Hope
instead of drowning in fear

there’s so much more
than just believing
it’s a transformation
from one life to the next

Hope Looking Back

Last night, I had the privilege of speaking to about twenty women in an AA meeting at the San Diego Rescue Mission. It turned out to be a “mandatory” meeting for these ladies, and by the looks on some of their faces, you could tell, but by the end of the meeting, I saw hope in every set of eyes looking back at me. Continue reading