in having friends
you need to BE a friend
back when I was using drugs
a “connection” was my supplier
NOW it’s an invisible cord
woven together through conversations
while getting to know people
face to face
online
through text
and over the phone
there’s a difference between
knowing someone
and being known
and being known
takes conversation
Last night, I stayed up till midnight to celebrate my sobriety date, and here it is, almost midnight again, and I’m barely writing about it.
Every year, I seem to write about how I never think about drinking, but this year’s been different because of the last few months.
Lately, I don’t really write about how I’m feeling because, one, I’m married, and, two, I haven’t felt very positive, but to give you a little insight, here was my day, yesterday (the 23rd). Continue reading
Last night, I had the privilege of speaking to about twenty women in an AA meeting at the San Diego Rescue Mission. It turned out to be a “mandatory” meeting for these ladies, and by the looks on some of their faces, you could tell, but by the end of the meeting, I saw hope in every set of eyes looking back at me. Continue reading
Yesterday, I was so blessed to have tea with Jessica and catch up on life, and while we were both there for each other, God had us there for someone else. Continue reading
In the beginning of my recovery through AA, I’d felt I’d finally made it “home.” Everyone accepted me, loved me, remembered my name. It was so good. I loved going to meetings and acted a certain way there, which the kids rarely saw at home.
I remember times when the kids would say, “You need a meeting,” and I’d usually leave to go to one. By the time I came back, I was in a good mood, ready to be a mom. That lasted for years, until I really surrendered to God. Continue reading
Throughout my years of recovery (from alcohol and from hell), I’ve remembered many things, some of them good and some of them not so good. When it comes to memories of my dad, there aren’t very many.
In the past, most memories I’ve had of him were attached with pain, but through learning how to reject the pain, I now only have memories, and most of them that I remember bring a smile to my face, like the one I had this morning. Continue reading
I know what it’s like to be loved
I know what it’s like to be hated
I know what it’s like to be forgiven
I know what it’s like to be resented
I know what it’s like to be welcomed
I know what it’s like to be in the way
I know what it’s like to be remembered
I know what it’s like to be forgotten
I know what it’s like to taste fear
I know what it’s like to breathe faith
I know what it’s like
Normal was cussing
calling names
screaming
slamming doors
Normal was drinking
passing out
missing life
passing by
Normal was forgetting
not wanting to move
crying
over selfish desires
Normal was laughing
at work but
yelling
at home
Normal was darkness
without light
without hope
without love
and then I met Him
fell in love with my kids
encountered His Love
changed my mind
to create a NEW normal
FREEDOM
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 