“Super Glue”

you can’t make
a parent
bond with their child

and you can’t make
a person
bond with their spouse

you can’t make
a teacher
bond with their student

but without that bond
what’re you left with

a child without love
a spouse without trust
a student without direction

thank God for God
Who takes what’s broken
and makes it whole

just don’t withhold
any piece of your heart

“Looking Back at Me”

when I look at myself
some times
I see the past
some times
I see the present

the weight I’ve gained
the parts that are aging
the gray
but then I think of the kids
and what they see

they see the mother they looked to
while breastfeeding
they see the profile of the mommy
who used to burp them
they see the beauty of the one
who’s made them smile
they see the comforting arms
that’ve held them
they see the lap they used to lay on
while watching movies
they see the hands of the woman
who has led them
they see the eyes and the face
of who’s always loved them

age doesn’t stick out to them
because they’re aging too
and we’re still growing
as a family
in the soil of love

Off the Roller Coaster…FINALLY

Okay, remember the other night, I was at Carolyn’s band performance? Well, that evening, I found myself totally content on where I was and haven’t differed since.

While I was watching Carolyn, I realized how nothing was distracting me; there was nothing in the way of me seeing her, watching her, taking every movement in, and then it dawned on me what a priceless gift it was to be a single mom. Continue reading

All in One

I love the title God gave me for this because it’s not what you think it is, and that makes me smile.

Lately, grocery shopping has been a luxury…buying meat has been a splurge. It’s just the way it’s been. We do with what we have and buy only what we need. We haven’t been eating fruits and vegetables and stuff because those are “extras.” This isn’t a pitty-potty post. It’s reality sometimes for some people, but the other day, for a moment, all of that changed.

I was sitting with a friend, and she asked me if we had food, so I explained our situation, and to my surprise, she gave me $40.00 to buy something good to make for the kids for dinner. You have no idea what that did to a mommy who loves to cook for her kids.

It opened a door. Continue reading

Unpacking a Bond

On Sunday, after driving everyone home from the porn convention, I climbed into bed around midnight. There was no way I would’ve been able to unpack the van that evening and knew it would be waiting for me in the morning. I was going to call a friend to come help but, but Katie woke up, so I asked her, “Would you like to help me unload the van?” She said, “Sure.” I had no idea where that would lead. Continue reading

Going Bananas

A week and a half ago, Katie (my daughter) bought a case of bananas…a case! She had asked for a ride to the store because carrying this big, heavy box would’ve been awkward on the trolley and unbearable to carry home, so I gave her a ride. They were really beautiful bananas, so I was excited to juice, make things, etc., and then, I found out: they were ALL for her. Continue reading

Neon Tears

At the starting line
At the starting line

Last night, Katie and I participated in a neon color run. It’s a 5K that was run at 8pm, music blasting, packets of powder exploding in the air, colored powder being thrown at you at different stations. It’s meant to be fun, but last night, that’s not exactly how it went.

At times, my daughter can be a little moody, and I love her through every mood, which is, sometimes, easier said than done. The beginning of the race was exciting. They had techno music blasting, people yelling in unison, jumping up and down, dancing. The energy was alive, and then we took off. Continue reading