pain

“Hide and Seek”

| Laura Lee Bonde

hiding inside
wanting no one to see
but God Who lives in me
gives me away

funny: I hide – He seeks
covering a wound instead of exposing it
living with fear instead of overcoming it

some wounds take time
some hearts won’t give in
when I hold back from God
He doesn’t take

He waits
until I’m willing to give it up
until I’m willing to let things go
until I’m willing to rest in His goodness
until I’m willing
He waits

when I let Him come in and give Him my pain
He teaches
He comforts
He corrects me to wholeness

for me, it was a day
how long do hearts hide
days
weeks
months
years
of isolating inside

there’s a fire in my heart to reach out
a new flame to find those who hide
to speak His life into their souls
as He fills their hearts
with His Love

Ointment of Fear

| Laura Lee Bonde

You know, some days are for reaching out to others, but every once in awhile, I feel God reaching in to me, and yesterday was one of those days.

In mid-morning, I was reminded about a feeling I had the previous day while on outreach, a feeling of longing for a husband. As I was reminded of the feeling, I experienced it all over again, so I decided to ignore it and wash dishes. It didn’t work. Continue reading →

Panic Mode

| Laura Lee Bonde

Yesterday was full of things to do: give Carolyn and Katie rides, continue with flags, straighten out the insurance stuff with the hospital, tend to my foot, etc., and often times, I expect myself to do everything, and when I don’t, I come down pretty hard on myself.

In giving the girls rides, I was expected to pick them up: Carolyn at nine at night and Katie at ten forty-five at night. Piece of cake, right?! Well, everything else in my day went pretty smoothly, but by the end of the night, I was tired and in pain.

When Nathan and I returned home from picking up Carolyn, it was time to change my bandage, so I set everything up. This time, after changing it, it hurt more than usual, so Carolyn suggested I lay down. I agreed because I had been tired and just wanted to sit up in bed and read with God. My phone was almost dead, so I left it charging in the living room.

Can you tell where this is going? Continue reading →

Coffee and Prayer

| Laura Lee Bonde

Well, I believe God is preparing me for more orders to pour in because, yesterday, my production tripled. Not only did I sew a bunch of flags, but two orders were delivered and one order was picked up. Bring it on, God; I’m ready!

As I was delivering flags, I planned to meet my friend at a coffee shop, which ended up being in a grocery store, so we changed our meeting place to an espresso shop in the same plaza.

While crossing the parking lot to wait for my friend, I noticed a woman smoking a cigarette, waiting for her friend to finish talking with people. I went up to her and started chatting with her. Continue reading →

Clean Socks

| Laura Lee Bonde

A couple years ago, a friend called and asked if she could come over for prayer. As we were sitting on my bed, she started crying…weeping…bawling. In moments like those, rising to grab tissue may interrupt the Holy Spirit, so normally, I let the tears be wiped away, but this time, she “really” needed something more than a hand, and right next to me was a basket of clean laundry. I asked her, “Want a sock; it’s clean?” At the sound of that question, she lost it.
Continue reading →