Yesterday morning, when we were driving towards work, Lee and I were talking about how safe he was…safe in the way that he’s not dangerous…at all. When he was newly homeless, Lee talked about a meek, little lady who offered him a ride, which he accepted. While driving, she made a comment about him not killing her. Lee chuckled and re-assured her she was fine. I told him about my secrecy.
I explained to him how I didn’t tell many people he was coming over on purpose because I didn’t want any warnings or lectures. He mentioned how he’s a good person…just ended up homeless. The park affects him. There’s more darkness than light. We had a good chat (we always do), and then I dropped him off. I don’t think I have the words within me to express what that did to my heart. All I know (or guess) is that God has a bottle of my tears labeled “Lee.” I left for work, and he turned to sit at the statues.
I started to pray through sadness, but I changed that and prayed through joy because I know God has put me in Lee’s path for a reason. It’s not to leave him lost in the world. He’s been found. God has a plan. There’s a song I listen to, and it’s God saying, “I’ll be the Lighthouse when you’re lost at sea,” and I just received a beautiful picture of that.
Picture a lighthouse and the sea. If someone was lost, maybe floating, the light from the house would be seen from a distance. How would you reach it? A ship…a friend”ship.” I think God’s been teaching me about friendship and how it will carry a person through the roughest seas, but it takes some work and effort to reach that lighthouse. …kind of corny but a thought.
Anyway, at lunchtime, I went back to have our usual visit, but there was something different, and we both could tell but didn’t speak of it. I talked with him about the transitional living program out in El Cajon. He said, “There are a lot of “programs” around here, but most of the time, there are alcohol and drug addicts recovering there. I detest foul language and don’t want to place myself around all those demons.”” He “feels” darkness and doesn’t want to put himself in that environment. It made sense.
When I got up to leave, I said, “I hope you meat a lot of crazy-good people.” He said he’d already encountered the crazies. Right off the bat, after I dropped him off, he went to the restroom and interrupted two men having sex. He said darkness like that happens quite often. He’s a firm believer in never letting your kids go to the park bathroom alone. I never will again.
When it was time for me to leave, we hugged and said our goodbyes. As I walked away, he called me back to tell me something. Then, as I walked away again, he called me back to tell me something more. I turned to walk again, and he called me back to tell me something new. That’s never happened, and it pulled on my heart.
How to let go: is that what God’s teaching me now? If it is, I’m not learning very well yet. I thank you all for reading about Lee, for caring about him, for praying for him, for thinking good thoughts about him. Those of you he’s met, he mentions. He says, “If I never see them again, please let them know I appreciated meeting them.” I tell him OF COURSE you’ll see them again and even meet more people. I invited him to Red Seal ministries tonight. We’ll see if he accepts the invitation.