hiding again on WordPress
for all to see
or ignore

driving down the road tonight
I passed a familiar bar
a lot of them are
and the sight of that bar
reminded me of others

and then it began

a memory of old
being set up to hurt someone
someone close to me
he asked me out for drinks
so I said yes

not knowing there was a plan

he wanted to hurt his girlfriend
a close friend of mine
so he got me drunk
all the while
in the back of his work van

there was a mattress

waiting
I was always willing
his plan worked
not right then
but later on

right about now the tears formed

how could i
why did i
every time i

but in that moment
a tear fell
not pushed out by regret or self pity
but gratefulness
of who I am

I was never lost from God
I was lost from seeing Him
He always had a plan waiting
I just had to step into it
agree with Him

I never have to put myself
in that situation again
a never have to fall for a mattress
or a man for a drink
I never have to be who I was

again