“Foreign Land”

for the longest time
I’ve mapped my way around
before leaving the house
thinking the route

I couldn’t do that here
until yesterday

yes! a normal beginning
never realizing
the normal I had
until it was gone

beginning a normal
in
a normal beginning
or far from it

“Missed Emotion”

I’m somewhere inside
I can feel it
but I’m still somewhere inside
watching life happen
without living it

no longer a prison
yet a mist
haven’t found my way out
not yet

sometimes wanting
to be alone
sometimes
wanting to scream
sometimes
holding back tears
always looking
for laughter

a reason to laugh
that’s all I need

I wonder if God’ll tell jokes

“Feeling the Cracks”

I feel like
when two become one
there’s a melding that “each one” does
to fit together

that’s not what’s happening

I feel like
I’m being broken apart
in tiny little pieces
to fit in “his” mold

The Light Switch

My writing may be a little dark for awhile because I feel like I’m in a dark place. That’s part of the reason why I haven’t been writing. The other part was I couldn’t find my laptop in the trailer, where my life just sits, waiting to enter in to this new life I’m living (if you want to call it “living”).

One thing’s for sure: writing helps me A LOT. It’s just…now…I’m not the only book on the shelf to be opened.

“Set Up”

why didn’t I get to choose
from my mind
from my heart
why was it from God’s heart

I feel cheated

now
living in Texas
no friends
no laughter
no
dancing

yet

it’s my

forever

“Sentence tbd”

let me try to explain
how I feel

I’m in a cell
a prison inside
to my right
a comfy bed

satan sheets
a pillow of depression
a blanket of isolation

it looks so comfy

to my left
a gated door
shut but unlocked
waiting for me to walk thru

yet I stand there

the only way
through the door
is to step
the only way to step
is to speak

yet my voice feels lost

every once in awhile
I glance at the bed

[written 6/4/16]