Every once in awhile, I get in shutdown mode, and lately, that’s where I’ve been. You wanna know what’s funny: usually, advice gets me there. Anyway, last week was…how should I word it…tough? Yeah, tough, but Friday evening ended up the night for Scott and I to start Christmas shopping, but it didn’t go well.
Our first stop was Walmart because Katie had printed some photos for us to pick up, and while we waited for the photos, we walked around, and that’s where the crazy kicked in.
As I walked down different aisles, every thing my eyes focused on triggered thoughts, and each thought wasn’t the best.
I’ll give you an example. Let’s say I saw something that Nathan liked; then, I thought about him coming and opening it and, then, pictured him leaving, which brought on tears.
The same thing would happen when I saw stuff for Kyle, which brought on tears.
As I saw things for Katie, I thought about watching her enjoy things and, then, thought about her moving next month and not being able to see her enjoy things, which brought on tears.
Then, I’d see things for Carolyn, think about what she’ll go through when all her siblings (and niece) are gone, which brought on tears.
When the pictures were finally done and we headed through the store, I told Scott I was done shopping.
Tomorrow, the boys arrive, and my biggest challenge will be to stay in the moment and enjoy them all while they’re here. The temptation, usually, is to think about what’s to come, which breaks me down, so I plan to focus on who’s in front of me and go from there, but woe to anyone who’s at the airport on the twenty-ninth because that’s when the boys’ll be leaving