Dinner’s Done

In the beginning of my recovery through AA, I’d felt I’d finally made it “home.” Everyone accepted me, loved me, remembered my name. It was so good. I loved going to meetings and acted a certain way there, which the kids rarely saw at home.

I remember times when the kids would say, “You need a meeting,” and I’d usually leave to go to one. By the time I came back, I was in a good mood, ready to be a mom. That lasted for years, until I really surrendered to God. Continue reading

“Always More”

what if there was more to life
than shedding clothes for men
what if there was more to life
than selling her body
what if there was more to life
than what she saw in the mirror
what if there was more to life
than the traumatic visions of old
what if there was more to life
than having to be better than others
what if there was more to life
than money

there is
and His Name is Jesus

Two Halves Make a Whole

Every once in awhile, I experience a loneliness that HAS to be felt, and last night was one of those nights.

When it’s time to dye flags, the whole process is pretty taxing physically and spiritually, for me anyways, so by the end of the night, I was exhausted, and it’s at that moment of exhaustion when I find I miss a husband the most.

All I picture is sitting down and resting with him, whoever “that” is, but at the same time, I feel super close with God, so I’m never sure how to react, so I just react. Continue reading

Coffee and Prayer

Well, I believe God is preparing me for more orders to pour in because, yesterday, my production tripled. Not only did I sew a bunch of flags, but two orders were delivered and one order was picked up. Bring it on, God; I’m ready!

As I was delivering flags, I planned to meet my friend at a coffee shop, which ended up being in a grocery store, so we changed our meeting place to an espresso shop in the same plaza.

While crossing the parking lot to wait for my friend, I noticed a woman smoking a cigarette, waiting for her friend to finish talking with people. I went up to her and started chatting with her. Continue reading

Good Reflection

Yesterday, I was reminded of how I used to live with expectations of people, and it was very unhealthy for me, but at the time, I didn’t even notice it.

Before I got sober, which was almost ten years ago, I used to struggle A LOT, and I expected everyone who had money to help me. I mean…they had the money, so why not? I just didn’t understand what the big problem was. AND to top it all off, most of the time, I expected people to help me without asking them. Well, that wasn’t a good way to live. Continue reading