[Written yesterday, 3/14/15]
Today is the last game of the winter season of flag football. To watch my oldest son coach and my youngest son play has been an inexpressible joy in my heart! The restoration that pursues our family is amazing, and it feels like it’s only just begun, but the truth is, God’s been restoring our lives for years.
Restoration: at first, the word bothered me, and I, almost, wouldn’t pray for it. To me, restore meant to bring back what once was. Well, there are many things that never were, so how could they be restored? But in His gentle way, God has spoken truth to my heart and has revealed to me more of what that means, and now, I understand.
What God has been doing is restoring His children back to His original image…before the fall of man. In the garden, there was so much peace, so much unity with His heart, so much communion with Him. Restoration isn’t restoring “my” life to me or my kids, but restoring “His” life within us, His character, His nature, His image…from glory to glory, and what an amazing life lived that is!
As I watch every game, it’s new. It’s alive. It’s freedom. While they’re sleeping, when I walk into the bedroom and watch their slumber, hear their breath, I’m reminded of life and living through the heart of Jesus. Even the moments when they’re in bad moods or if my mood is sour, (for the most part) I remain silent and think about all that God has done and all that is possible to do. There’s just so much to be hopeful for.
I hope they win today just because I hope they win, but none the less, I’ve already won in my heart. I’m already breathing victory. When I first got sober, my oldest son hated me. This morning, he came out to the kitchen table to spend time with me, to hear my God stories, to love me in person. We don’t see each other much, so we both cherish the times when we do. Katie’s desiring to get her license and a car…less rides…less time together (sigh). I’m so glad I’m sober in body, soul, and spirit and so glad to be their mommy!