Don’t Miss the Miracle

For the past couple weeks, the Harlingen High School’s been putting on a strength and conditioning camp for free, but on Thursday, something was different: this time, Nathan showed up.


I know I’ve mentioned how hard this move’s been on Nathan, so getting him excited about football’s been challenging because there’re many things that discourage his mind (the weather, not knowing the kids, not having his brother coaching, etc.), but through it all, I’ve been trying to get him involved.

So far, Nathan’s being playing (a very little bit) on the 7-on-7 team, so he’d hadn’t been able to go to the conditioning camp (not like he wanted to anyway), but the 7-on-7 games ended a week ago Thursday, so he’s had time to go but hasn’t had the heart to.

A week ago Friday, I took him but found out they didn’t meet on Fridays. Then, on Monday, I had a tax meeting to go to and couldn’t take him, so Tuesday was “supposed” to be the day, but Nathan didn’t want to go, so I talked him into going and watching.

For about an hour, we sat in the car and watched the kids work out. As a mom, it broke my heart, and eventually, we left.

The next conditioning was to be on Wednesday, which was also youth group, so I gave Nathan the option of which to go to: youth group or football, and he chose youth group, which was fine by me.

At the church they go to for youth group, they also had a special speaker, so I decided to stay for it, and right before it began, the youth group came in, so Carolyn, Nathan, and I ended up listening to the same message, which spoke to each of us.

On Thursday, guess where Nathan chose to go: the strength and conditioning camp, and boy, was it a HARD workout! I stayed and watched every minute. Actually, it was so difficult for me; I wished I had a friend with me. Watching him try so hard, knowing what he’s been going through, feeling the heat…it took everything in me NOT to cry, but I held every tear inside and supported him.

Even now, I’m crying. This transition’s been so difficult! It’s one thing to go through it, but it’s another thing to watch your kids go through it. Anyway, even though he’d wanted to quit, he never gave up.

Afterward, on our way home, he spoke about the night before. He said, “Last night, that guy talked about God calling you where you didn’t want to go because that’s where the miracle’s hidden. I knew He meant football, so that’s why I went, but I didn’t see the miracle.”

He may not’ve seen it, but I did. Nathan showing up WAS the miracle! He’d heard God’s voice, followed it, and never gave up!

You know, I’ve heard it said before that “brave people” step out in faith, but actually, it’s the stepping out in faith which makes people brave. Nathan did it! He tackled the heat, the loneliness, the not knowing anyone, the isolation, the fear, and NEVER GAVE UP! And through it all, he may’ve made a friend.

Oh, and remember how I’d said I wished I’d had a friend with me? The next time we go, Carolyn said she’d go with me!

I don’t have a title for this.

Today, I’m going to do something a little different.

Yesterday, during Nathan’s football practice, I walked around the school and talked on the phone with Kyle.

Man, I miss him, but even more so, I miss “us:” seeing his face; watching him smile; hearing him chuckle; going to the movies; etc. For the most part, during our conversation, I kept it together, only crying without him noticing, but when it came to saying goodbye, I lost it. Continue reading

Fitting in Out of Place

To say this move hasn’t been hard on the kids would be lying. It’s been (at times) excruciating for them: no friends; nothing familiar; without their dad;…I could go on and on, but you get the idea. Well, little by little, things get better.

There’re moments when they cry.
There’re moments when they’re moody.
There’re moments when their silent. Continue reading

Clouds that Cover

Every once in awhile, my heart is an open book, yet my mind knows better, so I’m left with writing in code. This is one of those times.

Recently, Nathan joined a tackle football team. It was all brand new to him: the coaches; the tackling; the kids…everything, but before he even picked the team, he had an issue. Continue reading

More Than a Need

A few weeks ago, I saw a post from a church collecting donations to help out needy families with their Thanksgiving dinner. My first thought…how do I get on that needy list, but I wasn’t sure about carrying out that thought, so I ignored it, but there was no way escaping it; the thought followed me wherever I went.

Eventually, I sent a message to my friend about it but couldn’t do it because of different thoughts: was it okay to ask; are we really that need; I “may” be able to afford the food by then; I know others are more needy then us; etc., but again, the thought wouldn’t leave me, so I finally asked. Continue reading

Off the Roller Coaster…FINALLY

Okay, remember the other night, I was at Carolyn’s band performance? Well, that evening, I found myself totally content on where I was and haven’t differed since.

While I was watching Carolyn, I realized how nothing was distracting me; there was nothing in the way of me seeing her, watching her, taking every movement in, and then it dawned on me what a priceless gift it was to be a single mom. Continue reading

Empty Stands

Well, I wasn’t going to write today because writing makes me tired, and I have a lot of flags to sew, so I decided to write a quick poem about what was going on in my heart, and as I read it, I began to weep.

I love it when my own poetry touches my heart.

As I was crying, I couldn’t get rid of what I wanted to write about, couldn’t push it to the side. I’d woken up with it, and evidently, the only way it’ll go away is through my fingers, so through these tears, I’ll give you my heart. Continue reading

Chosen First

Me and Kyle at the Raiders game 10/25/2015
Me and Kyle at the Raiders game 10/25/2015

Yesterday, Kyle took me to the Raiders game, but up until on our way there, I had no idea where he’d gotten the tickets, and finding out squeezed my heart with a hug.

Kyle works for a popular nightclub downtown called “OMNIA.” A little bit ago, a company reserved the club for their company shindig. It was then, when Kyle was noticed.

At this club, he’s security, and he’s so good at his job! Some of you may remember about this club and how they chased Kyle down and practically begged him to work for them. Well, while he was working this particular event, a woman noticed his stature and offered him tickets to the Raiders game.


He was given two tickets, and the first person he thought of to take was ME, his mommy! How amazing is that!! A twenty-four year old young man preferred to take his mom above any of his friends. I was so honored and still am, and while I was there, I heard so much boasting about him. Continue reading