Last year, God called me to the front to lead JC’s Girls at the Rock. At first, I thought I was the last person He would choose. Throughout my years there, I never felt girly enough, felt like I didn’t have the right clothes, that I didn’t have the right stuff. It turned out, those were all ideas from the enemy to cause me to quit, but it never worked.
As I was waiting to hear from God about making the decision to step into His calling, I heard an (almost audible) “YES!” I’ll never forget it. I was on my way to work, worshiping God like normal, heard it, and immediately called Sheri to let her know what He said. We were both SO excited. That happened on January 16, 2014, and it was one of the best decisions to follow His voice.
Everything was finalized behind the scenes in March, but the first study I led as leader was April 10, 2014, and it was overwhelming. During worship, I fell apart completely in His Hands. He chose ME. He believed in ME. He wanted ME to serve the women in JC’s Girls…ME. Those thoughts of “not being enough” didn’t melt away until “after” I stepped into this calling. If I would have waited until I was ready, would He have called me? Only He knows the answer to that.
All I know is that, once I stepped into this leadership, He began to show me who I was in the cross, and it has changed my life. I’ve never posted this picture because, well, I’m crying, and we all know that a crying face isn’t always gorgeous, but I came across this one yesterday, and all I saw was beauty: beauty in Him; beauty in the calling; beauty in being chosen…beauty.
Something good has happened inside me that will not be undone because I’m tired of the enemy always trying to steal my beauty. He can’t have it! And it’s not just me. The enemy tends to hang out in mirrors, telling women who they’re not. The only true mirror is God’s Word, and in there, our reflection is radiant, without shame, unveiled, and completely in His Heart…beauty!
Born with a smile, laughter, peace in the arms of love
life takes form
two kingdoms at war
chosen long before
School years taunting, pressure arising
molding from the outside in
change in a smile, laughter
always comparing within
A journey to find Him without even knowing
waiting for change from
trusting the air, time but not Him
He touches the heart, deep within
a bond formed from the womb
He Loves, Molds, changes everything
from the inside out
The battle of life completely won
in His Son a new found Peace
a smile, laughter…made anew