The Age of Beauty

A couple weeks ago, someone contacted JC’s Girls because they wanted to do a photo shoot of a beauty-from-ashes story. Sounds like I might’ve qualified, right? Wrong. They wanted someone under the age of thirty. So why does beauty have an age?

To me, beauty is timeless…ageless. It’s not something one “puts on.” It’s something that “comes out”…that shines from the inside. One of my biggest struggles inside my heart at the porn convention was experiencing my beauty in the midst of an environment where everyone was all dolled up, but it was super important for me to experience this for “me.” It was part of my journey, part of my walk, and so much came out of it.

Me being ME (2.28.15)
Me being ME (2.28.15)

Every time I thought I was “less than” in the way I looked, I noticed the way I “felt.” I know you’re supposed to live by truth, not by feeling, but I’m just being honest: I searched for how I felt, and I felt comfortable all weekend, which was very important to me. Even though my identity was attacked, I was glad I “looked” like me when I looked in the mirror. It made it easier to fight.

If I really sat down and shared with you all that went on inside of me throughout the weekend, you might find that I was weak, but what rose up inside of me again and again was God’s strength. Nothing made me fall to where I couldn’t get back up. Nothing chained me to the walls of hell. Nothing stole my beauty away. Actually, I see my beauty even more now, and as I live through God’s heart, I’m sure the vision of what I see in my reflection will become clearer and brighter.

Am I too old to be beautiful? No. But if I lose sight of God, I may lose sight of my beauty, so I choose to continue listening to the beat of His heart…following the light of His steps…declaring His will in my life. We all behold a beauty that’s unique.

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