Earlier this week, Scott took me and the kids to the Navy Exchange and the Commissary to, pretty much, buy us whatever we wanted (within reason). Up until this point, it had been very hard to “receive” from him, and while we were walking through the parking lot, I was reminded why.
As the kids were goofing off, Scott and I were walking side-by-side, and I experienced one of those “moments” of deja vu, only this moment reminded me of who I USED to be. I was a horrible wife, and as I remembered back, I felt myself ready to fall apart.
…not again! When it comes to feeling deeply, I have the worst timings, and lately, my tears are not always received well by all my kids, so when I’m around them, especially, I try to hide them, and this time, it was working.
It only happened when we walked through the parking lot. I almost voiced what I was going through to Scott but thought, “Why? We have already reconciled the past.” I’m learning to not dig stuff up that’s been buried. Every time the thought of who I was came over me, I thanked God for who I am now: HIS beloved wife. Today, even more was revealed.
There I was with Scott: regardless of my past, he was buying me things and has been buying me things for a long time now. Scott doesn’t care who I “used” to be. He sees me as I am now…doesn’t hold the past against me. Maybe that WAS the enemy, trying to get me to bring up the past to distort my reflection. Ha! He lost…again.
The whole scenario made me think of God, how He loves REGARDLESS, how He blesses REGARDLESS. It is impossible for Him to keep a record of my sins. Scott has chosen not to keep a record, and we’ve remained good friends. I hope our picture of friendship speaks to someone out there.