When My Laugh Went Missing

Last night, a man was speaking about his testimony and how laughing in desperate times invites Joy to defeat the enemy. Well, as he was talking, I was reminded of something.

Back when I was drinking, I “knew” I had a problem. I just didn’t want help for it. Since my dad was an alcoholic, I figured I was one, too, and left it at that. Well, eventually, that changed.

I’ll never forget my first “AA” meeting: everyone was laughing! I thought I was sitting in a room full of a bunch of liars: if they’re sober, HOW could they be laughing, and at that time, I was working at “CVS,” so I used to LOOK for them to see if I’d “catch” them buying alcohol. I never did, but I started to pay attention to my laughter.

At work, I’d laugh all the time, but when I got home, the laughter stopped. Why?

I started to realize the alcohol was stealing my laughter. I’m not kidding you; I’d laugh ALL the time at work, but once my shift ended, I’d start scheming on how to get enough alcohol to get drunk and how to drink it without my boyfriend complaining. EVERY DAY, that was my mission-impossible.

Even when I’d get home, consuming the alcohol was my top priority and my focus. I never realized how selfish I was, but I DID realize how I never laughed at home.

I lived in that torment for three weeks, having “AA” in my head and losing my laughter every day, and then, one day, I made my way back to a meeting.

After a week of meetings, I decided to quit. On my way home from work, I chose to PASS the liquor store, but before I past it, I asked God for help. I’ve been sober ever since and found my laughter.

So, as I was reminded of this last night, I thought how powerful my laugh is. Not only is it the Joy of the Lord, but also a reminder of the victory over alcohol! If I was Satan, I’d try to get me to stop laughing, too, but it’s not working.

I’ll laugh whenever I want,
wherever I am,
in front of whoever I want to.

My laugh is FREEDOM; it’s JOY; it’s VICTORY; it’s MINE!

Now, I’m prepared: the next time someone approaches me about not liking my laugh, instead of feeling bad, I’ll explain to them the VICTORIES I’ve experienced and invite them to laugh WITH ME!!

The Joy of the Lord is my strength! It HAS BEEN in San Diego and WILL BE in Harlingen, Texas!

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