Using the Wind

Since moving to Texas, I’ve experienced a lot of change: emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Spiritually will be between me and God (for now), but let me open up to you a little about the other two.

Well, physically is, pretty much, a given. I mean, I’m in a new state, with new surroundings and a new climate. You can’t get much newer than THAT, but with all that came something I “wasn’t” expecting, and it happened at home.

Before two people live together, each have their “own way.” Well, after they move in together, which “way” becomes normal?

I’ve felt this come up quite a few times and have wondered if people touch on it in premarital counseling, something Scott and I never had either time around. It’s definitely a challenge and one that affects me emotionally (sometimes).

[The act of surrendering your self without losing yourself is definitely an art form.]

To be-come one without losing each two requires confidence, something I’ve found myself lacking, which has pulled me down at times.

Through these darker moments, I’ve had different memories from my past enter in: from childhood; from bad relationships, from the way I “used” to be, etc. These are the thoughts I’ve either blown away or fed.

When I’ve blown them away, it didn’t even phase me: I moved on and continued living, but when I’ve fed them, I’ve become withdrawn, defensive, quiet, isolated, until I’ve pulled myself out of it.

It amazes me how darkness tries to use darkness to support itself. It’s only a matter of time before it falls because light is always present.

All in all, every thing I’ve been going through’s been for a reason: either one from God or one I’ve created, but the bottom line is it’ll all be used for good…eventually.

(Hmm, that’s nice: “the bottom line”…sounds like something you’d STAND on.)

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