February 27, 2020

I love it when friends encourage me to be real, to come out of my hiding places, so here’s a little “real” for you!

I’m scared.
I’m scared of this forever journey.
I’m scared of taking my teeth out for surgery.
I’m scared of my boob changing shape.
I’m scared of talking to the oncologist about radiation.
I’m scared of what I’ll hear.
I’m scared of how my looks might change (again).
I’m scared I might be disappointing God by being scared.

There. There are my fears.

Every day, I feel anxiety, but I don’t want to take medicine, so I breathe through it, pray, change my thoughts, and face my fears.

I know it will be okay. I know I have plenty more to do in this world. I know I’ll get through this because I’m in God’s heart.

And yet, I still get scared.