My Resentment Shirt

Yesterday morning, I colored my hair to cover the grey (just not ready yet), and in doing so, I put on my hair-coloring-shirt, which is my shirt of resentment. Let me explain.

Years ago, I started giving blood to help those in need. Before I had sobered up, I never even thought of helping others in that way, so when I started to donate, I felt really grown up, and then I was convicted.

When you go to give blood, they ask you a series of questions: one of them being, “Have you ever sold sex for money or drugs.” Every time, I would answer ‘no’ because who wants to be honest with THAT, but then I “really” grew close to God, and everything started to change, even the hidden things.

IMG_0032 (1)In 2009, I had started attending JC’s Girls, and during that first year, I had become an example that women wanted to follow. One day, I was at one of the offices to give blood, and when I reached the question I told you about, I thought, “I want to live honestly in EVERY area of my life, not just what people see or hear,” so I answered that question honestly. What happened next saddened my heart.

As I was waiting to donate blood, they called me into a little room and told me that they wouldn’t be able to use my blood…ever. I explained how I’ve been checked at the doctor and how there was nothing wrong with my blood, but they said that didn’t matter. Because of my past, my blood was not needed. I explained how I had been giving blood for years. They felt that that was unfortunate. I left, crying.

So from time to time, when I color my hair, I wear my resentment shirt. I’m so grateful that Christ’s blood is good enough, and because of Him, my blood is brand new and all mine!

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