Hairy Legs, Tears, and Laughter

Yesterday, Carolyn was doing homework on the computer, so my writing had to wait. I “could’ve” attempted to write from my phone, but trust me: that would have taken SO long, so I decided to wait, and let me tell you…this story of transformation is well worth the wait.

As you know, Friday was my last day at work, so I figured there’d be tears at some point: leaving friends, going from the known to the unknown, Lee, etc. Well, there were tears, but they came at the strangest time, for the strangest reason, and revealed the deepest healing ever!

After spending time with Lee, and him saying, “Good bye,” as if he’d never see me again, I headed back to work. Since I had given my notice two weeks ago, my pace to and from lunch has been very slow, very appreciative, very relaxed…pondering what God is doing and what I’m capable of receiving. So much has gone on between me and Him…too much to write, but this one…well, you’ll see.

I was walking along, talking to God, praying, and I saw a man at a parking meter paying for time. As I glanced down at his legs, I noticed they were hairy and even commented in my mind that they were hairy, and then, I continued on, talking with God about future worship flags, and then it hit me: a major mindset was missing!

For as long as I can remember, I’ve looked at men (and sometimes women), and when I’ve seen something on a man like hairy legs, I would picture them naked or picture them having sex with me or envision me having sex with someone else. It’s just the way I WAS, but over the past few years, I’ve controlled that. When my mind would drift in that direction, I would stop it, pull it back, and redirect it toward heaven. This time, it happened all by itself, without me doing a thing, and once I realized that, which was immediately, I LOST it!

I began to cry from a heart of gratefulness, and then, I began to laugh from a place of freedom…began to cry from seeing the transformation…began to laugh from where I was headed…etc….I could not stop. When I reached the lobby of work and pushed the button for the elevator, I almost completely lost it: does anyone realize who God is using?! There’s no limit to what He can and WILL do.

Freedom: there’s not ONE definition, not ONE description. There is a depth to liberty that belongs to heaven and will be revealed throughout eternity. Freedom: every person who’s experienced it will be able to explain what it means. Freedom: that’s what you see when I’m dancing, when I’m laughing, when I’m writing. Freedom is the ceiling I stand on, and His Glory is my limit without end.

A mind that is set is able to be changed, and a heart that is free will not be captured by darkness. Throughout my life, I’ve been told, “That’s just the way you are.” That’s a lie from the depths of hell. Who I am is found on the cross, and who I’m becoming is revealed every day that I yield to Him.

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