If some of you “don’t” want in to my private life, stop reading because I’m about to get real because yesterday, by far, was one of my worst days yet.
Aside from the fact that I’ve been experiencing so much emotion from moving from San Diego, California to Harlingen, Texas, I’ve been experiencing, what I would call, a very difficult marriage.
When you don’t know how to be a wife or a husband, you learn, but you HAVE to stay teachable, and sometimes, that means teaching one another, but that’s been non-existent because our communication’s been horrible.
Every word, sentence, statement or question seemed to qualify for an argument, but until yesterday, I’d shut down before it’d get there, but yesterday was a different story.
As we were disagreeing, we both stood our ground, raised our voices, and expressed our minds. Afterward, he left for the store, and I cried for an hour. Eventually, I ended up going to a nature trail.
For the rest of the day, I cried on-and-off and remained silent. For the past couple weeks, I’d been reaching out to people, learning where I was wrong and changing along the way, but this time, I was lost in what to do.
One friend suggested I talk with Scott and not leave things the way they were, but I couldn’t handle another argument, so I shut down, and before bedtime, I went for a walk to call a friend.
While opening my heart, I stopped three times in the middle of the street, unable to move from crying uncontrollably. She listened and encouraged me to stay in prayer. As I got to the house, she prayed over me, and when I walked inside, Scott was in bed.
As I grabbed my jammies in the dark, I realized he was still awake, so I sat on the bed, and we talked. We had the most honest conversation yet! He opened up about a lot of things, but only one of those things, I’ll share with you.
So far, he’d been taking everything I’d been going through as a personal attack, which explained why he’d always been in defense-mode. Our talk ended with us holding each other and me praying over us.
Today, I’m hopeful (for the first time since I’ve been here). I’m sharing this with you because we need your prayers.
Our marriage has the capability of either being a very powerful testimony or a tale from the darkside, but ultimately, it’s up to us to make that very powerful testimony a reality.