The Strength of Sadness

Yesterday morning was one of the toughest Thanksgiving runs of my life, and I think I know why.

A week and a half ago, I’d just done one of my strongest 5K runs ever with Katie, so what was the difference?

Sadness.

A week and a half ago, I was excited to run, pumped up to carry on a tradition, but yesterday was different.

First off, I, practically, woke up crying from missing Kyle. For twenty-five years, I’d been spending Thanksgiving with him, until yesterday.

And then, I realized this was going to be my first Thanksgiving run in Texas with Katie, but it’d also be my last, so before the run, these different thoughts had been running through my mind, so before the run, I was tired, but I hadn’t caught on to that right away.

It took me about two miles to figure out why this run’d been so difficult, and the revelation’d come through a thought…

“If the joy of the Lord is my strength, then sadness is my weakness.”

Before this race, I was sad. Before this race, I was weak, but I ran it without stopping because I never quit. Although, I DID stop to capture the sunrise in a picture because it seemed so much more important than achieving any personal goal.

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Thanksgiving Day Run 11/24/16 (my Katie and Ariel)

You see, throughout different messes I’ve created in life, my kids have learned some valuable things. Mostly, they’ve learned what’s valuable.

Sure, I didn’t get to be with Kyle or Nathan, but I think they know how important family is; otherwise, they wouldn’t’ve missed us.

Sure, I may not be able to run another 5K with Katie, but I’ve taught her how to keep it going, so she’ll carry it on with Ariel.

Sure, Carolyn’s heart hurt so much to be without her dad and brother, but she got to spend her first Thanksgiving with her mom and sister and learned (deeper) how to push through things.

Who knows…we may have all faked our way through this one, but I don’t believe so. I believe we all had something special happen within us this Thanksgiving, and for that, I’m forever grateful.

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