It means this business will remain and grow.

It means, every time I cried and sobbed, there’d be an outcome (if I didn’t give up).

EVERY TIME I contemplated quitting, I KNEW I was supposed to continue on, but it didn’t make any common sense.

Someone helped me pay October rent.

Someone helped me pay December rent.

Someone helped me pay January rent.

Even what I was selling wasn’t covering the bills, so from what I could see, I was slowly bringing my kids to a rock bottom to climb out of with me.

But I STILL felt like I was supposed to keep going.

HOW?!! I couldn’t understand it. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do.

Even on December 19th, I was drinking coffee with Scott in the living room, and as Katie walked by, she said something about me looking for a job.

Immediately, I saw Scott’s face turn to look at me (as if to ask why), but I couldn’t even look at him. I was so close to breaking down. It felt like the idea of giving up was tearing my heart apart piece by piece.

I couldn’t think about it. I couldn’t talk about it. It was so close to January, and that was my deadline: if things didn’t pick up by January, I was going to stop making flags and find a place to work, to receive an income to support my kids. Well…

It’s hard for me to go on because I’m crying right now.

I’d been sick through most of December and hadn’t made much, but I’d ordered one scarf to try out to see what would happen.

When I finally felt better on Tuesday the 22nd, I ice-dyed the scarf. When I rinsed it later on, I saw how gorgeous it turned out and couldn’t wait to post a picture, but I needed Carolyn to model it, so I waited.

The next evening, before we left for dinner, she was ready, so I took her picture and posted it. Within ONE MINUTE, it sold, and on our way to dinner, comments began coming in, and I KNEW I know longer had to quit and almost broke down.

Since then, so many have been ordered, and I feel like the sales will only increase. Of course, it’ll take awhile, so if anyone’s interested in buying a scarf, let me know because rent time feels closer every minute.

Evidently, scarfs are popular. I’ve never worn one before, but it looks like I’m going to start.