“Sex not Needed”

I always thought intimacy was sex
it’s what I grew up believing
never knew different

my “one” relationship
since walking close to God
the man kept telling me he wanted intimacy

but I didn’t want sex until marriage
so how was that supposed to work

I’m learning intimacy from God
through friends
from sharing my heart
and having people know me
from them NOT sharing theirs
and me not knowing them

I’m learning there’s a surface
that everyone has
and a depth
that most people hide

I’m learning that
as much as I want to write how I feel
sometimes I don’t
or can’t
or won’t

I’m learning how I like to read
what I like to say
how I want to live
how I expect to be treated
where I want to go
what I believe

in knowing that
I will never be fooled
I will never be misled
I will never be mistreated
I will never be abused
I will never be deceived

waiting
listening
learning
believing
knowing
living

becoming love
image of Him
my Teacher
in all that I do

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