Immediately, every head in the store turned to look: some out of shock; some out of surprise; maybe some out of fear (my laugh scares people sometimes), and of course, Carolyn smiled, while covering her face, and Nathan smiled, as he sank a little lower. It felt good.

I’m telling you, I love to laugh, so having it so absent has been a real struggle for me. Anyway, we went over to check out the phones, and right about then, our sales rep came out.

This guy was so nice. Right away, as he asked me some questions, so piece by piece, I gave him insight into my life, and right away, I let out some laughter. The more laughter was let loose, the wittier I became, which caused more laughter.

At one point, he looked at Carolyn and said, “Your mom’s crazy!” It was funny, and he loved hearing my laugh so much that he began telling jokes, and each joke brought out a huge, loud laugh. It was great, which brings me to last night.

You know, my kids and I’ve always laughed A LOT. We play off each other…make fun of each other…and end up laughing at each other laughing at each other. Well, at the restaurant we were eating at, I had a thought, “What if they ALL end up moving back to San Diego,” and I totally lost it.

The tears broke through the damn and would not stop. There was Katie, Carolyn, and Nathan laughing hysterically, while Scott was smiling, and there was me, trying to stop the tears (which hadn’t worked). Thankfully, they caused me to laugh through them, but that didn’t stop this imminent thinking. It was crazy.

The kids asked what was wrong, but I couldn’t tell them. It was insane that I’d even been feeling that way, and I knew my answer was in prayer, so I kept what I was going through inside.

We carried on to the grocery store for ice cream, and it happened again! There I was in the ice cream aisle, crying. When we’d gotten home, I went in the other room to call my friend.

I told her (through tears) the crazy thoughts that had me carried downstream. She listened and began to pray. Immediate comfort came over me, but wow: what a night!

I’m learning a lot about my laughter: the cause of it; my dependence upon it; my life without it…so much. I KNOW if I stay with God through it all, more will be revealed, and I’ll probably find a lot more things to laugh at. Until then, I’m sure I’ll find myself cleansing in more tears.