“You are beautiful:” those are the words I heard over and over again last night. As I was flagging at Straight Up Worship, Krissi came up and told me how beautiful I was. She just kept saying, “You are beautiful” and wasn’t quite sure why those were the only words she could say. I began to cry and told her, “Because those are the words I need to hear the most,” and God knew that, and even with all those words of beauty spoken over me, this morning, I saw myself as ugly.
When will that end!
A few minutes ago, I saw a video of me flagging, and immediately, a poem came out of me, but it wasn’t a poem of beauty or grace. It was a poem of not seeing what you see. I’ll post it and will be prepared for the comments.
Sometimes, God asks me to post or write things that I just don’t want to, and this is one of those times. I would love to tell you that this battle of beauty has been won, but clearly, God’s showing me that there’s more healing for my soul to embrace.
I declare, in the Name of Jesus, that I will someday see a video of me flagging and will see my beauty, and I declare that that moment will never end!
This isn’t a post to get your compliments. This is a post from my heart on why I’m crying right now.
It doesn’t matter if I wear clothes to cover up what I think is fat. It doesn’t matter if I get my haircut a certain way or wear more makeup. I’ll still be “me” and want to see myself as beautiful no matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing, no matter what I’m wearing, etc. I’m glad God revealed this to my heart because once He reveals it, He heals it and takes it away!
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 