The enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy and, at different times, has reeked havoc in my family, but yesterday, some of his plans were abolished.
Twenty-two years ago, I served my ex-husband divorce papers and declared I’d never go back to him.
Over the years, we remained friends, and he never stopped loving me. I, on the other hand, continued down many different roads, and most of them were dark, and down every road, he remained my friend.
He never dated, never had a girlfriend, never “moved on.”
You see, to “him,” covenant meant something. To me, divorce was my freedom to live however I wanted with whomever I wanted to live it with, but something happened, and, all that changed.
I fell in love with God.
Now, fast forward some…as a strong godly woman, I’d been waiting for God’s best for me; all the while, Scott was there in the midst, loving me, supporting me, being my best friend, but I never really saw his love for me through God’s heart, until recently.
I know many of my friends saw the possibility of us getting back together because they’d bring it up, and after talking with Scott, some of his buddies did the same, and Scott and I would both reply, “It’ll never happen.” Well, we were, both, wrong.
Recently, Scott came out for Christmas and had come prepared to take me shopping for the kids, so we ended up spending a lot of time together.
During that time, I noticed the peace I felt being with him and the way we got along: in the car, in the stores, in line, and one of the times in line, I remember looking at him and thinking, “Love is a choice. I could choose to love whoever I want. I could choose to love him,” and that was it. I thought God was just teaching me about love. HE “was,” but there was more.
One night, Scott, the kids, and I were all sitting around the table playing games: Carolyn and Nathan were on my left; Katie and Kyle were on my right; and Scott was across from me.
As I watched the kids all laughing, I thought, “How’d I ever find someone to fit into this?” Up until that point, no one had blended with our family well.
The very next moment, I looked across the table at Scott and thought, “Huh, he fits.” Again…just another thought.
Another time, God was showing me how He loved me through Scott providing for us, and I realized how Scott was loving me through God, but I thought it was just another lesson in love.
I didn’t realize anything was going on until we said goodbye.
On the morning of Dec. 27th, Scott was leaving, and I was the last one he hugged, before walking out the door, and the moment we embraced, I realized I didn’t want to let go, and out of my mouth came ‘I love you,’ and he replied, “I love you, too” and left.
I thought, “What the heck was THAT?”
[More things happened, but that will all be in the book about this.]
For the next five days, I talked with God: prayed; cried; evaluated; asked questions. I didn’t understand the feelings I was having and wasn’t sure how to process them. All I knew was that I didn’t want to let go of him.
During that time, God talked to me about covenant, love, choice.
On January 2nd, a friend sent me a text, asking how I was doing, and I asked her to come over and talk.
Through tears, questions, etc., I told her how I thought I was in love with my ex-husband, and she reassured me that that was a VERY GOOD thing. I talked with her about how I wanted to honor Scott’s dad and ask for his blessing, which is what I did next.
On January 6th, I called Scott’s dad, told him I was in love with his son, and asked for his blessing to pursue him. He said, “We’ve been praying for this for a long time!”
I explained how I wanted to honor Scott and tell him face to face, how it couldn’t be said through email or over the phone, so I’d planned to save up money to fly out there. (They all live in Texas.) We finished talking and hung up.
Immediately, I looked up airfare prices to see how much I needed to save, and while I was looking, Scott’s dad sent me a text, offering me a ticket. Of course, I accepted!
Now…to tell the kids.
I ended up telling the kids individually because they’re all individuals, and one by one, they expressed their delight.
So, on January 22nd, I flew out to Texas to knock on Scott’s door, surprise him with my love, and ask him to marry me. I think he was in shock.
The next morning, he said, “Yes” and asked me, “What now?”
I hadn’t gotten that far.
You see, when you walk by faith (not by sight), you don’t always know what happens next, and especially with this, I didn’t want to plan past his answer because what if his answer was no, so I was just playing by heart.
We found out our next step would be to acquire a marriage license, so yesterday, we headed that way, and while we were there, we found out the step after that would be to have a judge marry us and there was one across the hall, so we went over there.
And there you have it: “I now pronounce you husband and wife!”
It was a moment I’ll never forget, looking into the eyes of the man I adore and knowing get to love him well for the rest of my life!
Our plans from here…one step at a time. I even only had a one way ticket. At least, now, as things happen, I can write about it. NOT being able to write about stuff was torture for me but so worth it!
1 Cor 7:10-11
Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband….