As many of you know, yesterday was Katie’s birthday, and I was broke, but I “knew” money wasn’t important in celebrating her, so I had no doubts we would all have fun together, and I had been looking forward to giving her a very special card.
Back in March, I had found this beautiful card with all these red tulips surrounding a beautiful white one. Tulips are my very favorite flower, so this card caught my eye, and having the white tulip amidst the red ones was the picture of me standing in the blood of Jesus, purified, redeemed, restored, so I bought the card to use for my own.
Shortly after, I was scheduled to dance at Beach Chapel for Easter. All my kids went, and I was so excited to dance with God in their presence (for the very first time). After the service, I was going to write about the awe of it all in my special tulip card to remember forever. Well, after the service, all of that changed.
Sometimes, God will offend you to reveal what’s in your heart, and on that day, I felt offended. After the church service, my kids didn’t say ‘good job’ or ‘that was nice’ or ‘how beautiful’ or anything like that at all. Actually, they were a little irritated about how long it took me to get to the car. It was then that I realized how, even though I was dancing with God, I wanted to hear some type of recognition from them. Who wants to write about that, so I didn’t!
A little while later, as I was walking into the kitchen, I glanced at the card and saw something new for the very first time and thought of my daughter, Katie. In that instant, I KNEW that the card was really meant for HER, and since then, I’ve been so excited for her birthday, so I could give it to her.
Back in 2006, I found a suicide letter that Katie had left for me to see. It was devastating. The first line of the letter mentioned how she was my black tulip. I had forgotten about that, until I walked past my special card and saw her beauty, standing amidst the blood of the Lamb. I wanted her to know that she was never my black tulip and couldn’t remember ever telling her that, so I was looking forward to declaring it in her special card.
Last night, I gave her her card, and the first line written in it was, “You were never my black tulip!” I don’t know how or if it touched her. All I know is how powerful it is to read the truth, and now she has it written down for as long as she keeps the card. The only thing I had for the inside was a few gift cards people had given me, so it wasn’t filled with anything she “wanted,” but it was marked with words worth so much more.
God is so good, so amazing, so present, so at work. We had so much fun last night playing games. I love our family and how Jesus died to make us part of His family!
Worship Flags and Infinity Scarfs 